Patricia D. Allen
English 82A
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
September 29, 2007
Narrative Essay
Get Over It!
It was early one bright spring morning; the sun had just lifted his head. After what seemed like an eternity in the air, my plane had finally landed. What a relief that was. Never before had I flown in the air and the air condition was not working. The air was thick and musty. The only way to survive the 13 hour flight was to just go to sleep, and that’s what I did.
I had finally arrived. The drive to my destination was different than what I was accustomed to. The first thing I noticed was that the steering wheel was on the right side, not the left. The cars seemed a lot smaller and everyone seemed to be driving on the wrong side of the road. I was definitely confused. However, I sat quietly and just waited for my new adventure. I had finally arrived and the fear, excitement and nervousness of being in a foreign country really didn’t matter because I had reached the point of no return. I was riding through the streets of Okinawa Japan, only a few months after receiving my first set of military orders.
The first thing I noticed as we slowly approached the military gates was the Marine. The soldier stood at full attention, the creases in his shirt were much defined and the shine on his shoes seemed to be glistening brightly against the early morning sunlight. He was very poised and intimidating. The soldier sharply waved us through the gates and we slowly drove forward to the first set of barracks.
As I walked through the doors, my heart pounded heavily against my chest. I swear I could hear every beat and I knew it was going to pop right out of my white dress uniform and stain the freshly polished floor. Although my bag was light, each step I took was a heavy one. I checked in to the front desk, just as you would any other hotel. This place was definitely no Ritz Carlton, in fact it was far from that.
I was told to go to the second floor, room 207. I took the stairs; after all there was no elevator. Halfway down the hall I remember approaching the worst smell coming from the doors of what appeared to be a community bathroom. I was later told that I arrived on the perfect day, water rationing day. On this day there was no water being used on base and the only way to flush the toilets was to stick the scooper in the large trashcans that were filled with water collected the previous day and flush with the scooped out water. Many people didn’t feel as though they should do the extra work, so the bathrooms had an awful aroma which lingered down the halls. I quickly learned to spend every other day, water rationing day, off base where there was no rationing.
Upon approaching room 207, I stuck the key in the door, stepped into the room and all of a sudden my eyes became flushed and tears came storming down my face. What have I done? Did I really sign up for this? How will I survive this nightmare? The ceiling was high; it seemed to be at least 12 feet tall. The walls were a puke, army and baby doo doo color green. The bed was the worst. There were no fancy headboard, just a mattress being held up by what looked like iron pipes. It was the ugliest room I had ever seen in my life. I dropped my bags and sat on the floor and just cried for what seemed like hours.
Once I finally awaken from my crying spell, the next day, the first thing I did was go shopping. I painted my room bright yellow, brought myself the most beautiful comforter I had ever seen, hung up some gorgeous Japanese umbrellas and totally turned my room into a beautiful haven.
The next eighteen months turned out to be very exciting. I met many new wonderful friends from many different places. We became as close as brothers and sisters. The memories I will cherish a lifetime. The locals, Okinawans, were very kind and hospitable and really showed their appreciation towards the U.S. military. The food was great, I quickly gained 20 pounds my first month there.
The experience of living overseas and surviving in another country matured me very fast. After the tears and reality sat in, my survival skills kicked in and forced me to adapt to a new way of life. Change can sometimes be difficult. It’s important to just go with the flow and not rock the boat. It will make life a lot easier. Martin Luther King, Jr once said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Chapter Summaries
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter One Summary
Reading, Thinking, Viewing and Writing
This chapter teaches you to become a better reader. It involves critical thinking through your reading. You must first use a reading strategy: SQ3R. The breakdown of this strategy includes Survey, Question, Read, Recite, and Review. Read actively by taking notes, annotating, outlining and evaluate the text.
After reading the text, you must respond to the text. Be honest, fluid, reflective and selective in your response. When summarizing, it is important to skim the text first, and then read closely. Capture what the text is trying to relay, the text’s argument. Test your summary by checking your summary against the original text.
Critical thinking through viewing involves giving the image your active attention. View with a purpose, open your imagination, look for key information, relate the image to the words and look for main points to remember. Interpret and evaluate the image and figure out what is the point of the image and what is it really trying to do.
Critical thinking through writing requires time and practice. Once the following habits are formed, you will find out it will pay off in the end.
1. Be curious, creative and open to new ideas.
2. Value others’ points of view, Get involved. Focus and be rational.
3. Make connections, tolerate ambiguity, and test the evidence.
4. Develop research-based conclusions and expect results.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Two
Beginning the Writing Process
This chapter involves rhetoric, the art of using language effectively. In the beginning process you must first understand your subject, audience, and purpose. Next you must understand the assignment and what actions you must perform. Look for key words. You must then select a subject that meets the requirements of the assignment and have some interest to you.
Once your topic has been chosen, generate writing ideas through journal writing, free writing, listing and clustering. Once you have a plan, begin collecting information by using all the sources that are available to you. Aside from books, websites there are primary and secondary sources available as well.
Primary Sources Interviews
Observations
Participation
Surveys
Secondary Sources Articles
Reference book entries
Books
Websites
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Three
Planning
When planning an essay, there are two basic thinking objectives: (1) establish a thesis or focus for your writing, and (2) organize the supporting information.
Inventory your thoughts. Re-examine your topic and decide if you should move forward with your writing or reconsider and come up with a new topic. Reconsider the subject, audience and purpose. Once decided, continue the process.
Form a thesis statement. Does the thesis reflect a limited topic? Does it clearly stat the idea, is it supported by information you have to provide. A manageable or limited topic + a specific focus equal an effective thesis statement. Let the thesis guide you throughout your writing.
Develop a plan or an outline listing main points, topic and sentence outline and include a graphic organizer. You should now be prepared to write the first draft.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Four
Drafting
When writing your first draft, you should once again reconsider your audience and purpose. Then focus on your subject.
In writing there is an opening, middle and ending. The opening is the most important element in your writing. It is here where you engage your reader, establish your direction and get to the point. The middle is where you advance your thesis, test your ideas, and support your main points. The middle is also where you build a coherent structure and use different levels of detail. The ending is a place to reassert the main point and urge the reader by gaining their acceptance and look ahead.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Five
Revising
When revising, look at the big picture. Take it all in. Revisit your audience, purpose and subject matter. Ask yourself ways you can improve and make your first draft become more complete. Make sure all of your ideas and organization is fully developed. Listen for voice and style, readers relate better to reading that is less informal. Look at your paragraphs for focus, unity and coherence. Request feedback from others and ask that they provide appropriate feedback.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Six
Editing and Proofreading
When editing and proofreading, use a checklist as a guide. Make sure your sentences are clear, complete, and correct. Check and make sure they flow smoothly and have varied lengths.
Another key element in writing is word choice. The writing should be free of vague words. Check your word choices. Instead of using vague words, replace the vague nouns and verbs with words that generate clarity energy and excitement.
Proofread your writing. Check for spelling errors, punctuation, and usage and grammar errors. Make sure that research documentation is punctuated correctly and check the writing for form and presentation.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Seven
Submitting Writing and Creating Portfolios
A good page design will make it easier for the reader to follow your reading and will make it much more pleasant. Use an easy to read font and size. Indent your paragraphs and maintain a one-inch margin around each page and double-space throughout the paper. Creating bullets, charts and other graphics should also be considered.
Once you have submitted your writing, you should be ready to share with an audience. Create a portfolio for sharing with other audiences. There are two basic methods for submitting your work.
· Paper Submission: Print an error-free copy on quality paper.
· Electronic Submission: Send your writing as an e-mail attachment.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Eight
One Writer’s Process
This chapter shows how one student followed the writing process outlined in Chapters two through eight. She began her writing process from beginning to the finished polished essay.
Angela’s, the student, started showing how she examined the assignment, explored and narrowed her assignment. In planning she reassessed her topic. She focused on her topic, researched and decided how to organize her writing. After composing her first draft, she added a title. During her first revision, she wrote notes to herself to keep her thoughts together. She asked a peer to review her second draft. Her edited draft was read aloud to check for clarity and smoothness. She then reviewed it checking for spelling, punctuation and agreement issues. This was her proofreading, which later ended in her formatting and submitting her finished essay.
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter One Summary
Reading, Thinking, Viewing and Writing
This chapter teaches you to become a better reader. It involves critical thinking through your reading. You must first use a reading strategy: SQ3R. The breakdown of this strategy includes Survey, Question, Read, Recite, and Review. Read actively by taking notes, annotating, outlining and evaluate the text.
After reading the text, you must respond to the text. Be honest, fluid, reflective and selective in your response. When summarizing, it is important to skim the text first, and then read closely. Capture what the text is trying to relay, the text’s argument. Test your summary by checking your summary against the original text.
Critical thinking through viewing involves giving the image your active attention. View with a purpose, open your imagination, look for key information, relate the image to the words and look for main points to remember. Interpret and evaluate the image and figure out what is the point of the image and what is it really trying to do.
Critical thinking through writing requires time and practice. Once the following habits are formed, you will find out it will pay off in the end.
1. Be curious, creative and open to new ideas.
2. Value others’ points of view, Get involved. Focus and be rational.
3. Make connections, tolerate ambiguity, and test the evidence.
4. Develop research-based conclusions and expect results.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Two
Beginning the Writing Process
This chapter involves rhetoric, the art of using language effectively. In the beginning process you must first understand your subject, audience, and purpose. Next you must understand the assignment and what actions you must perform. Look for key words. You must then select a subject that meets the requirements of the assignment and have some interest to you.
Once your topic has been chosen, generate writing ideas through journal writing, free writing, listing and clustering. Once you have a plan, begin collecting information by using all the sources that are available to you. Aside from books, websites there are primary and secondary sources available as well.
Primary Sources Interviews
Observations
Participation
Surveys
Secondary Sources Articles
Reference book entries
Books
Websites
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Three
Planning
When planning an essay, there are two basic thinking objectives: (1) establish a thesis or focus for your writing, and (2) organize the supporting information.
Inventory your thoughts. Re-examine your topic and decide if you should move forward with your writing or reconsider and come up with a new topic. Reconsider the subject, audience and purpose. Once decided, continue the process.
Form a thesis statement. Does the thesis reflect a limited topic? Does it clearly stat the idea, is it supported by information you have to provide. A manageable or limited topic + a specific focus equal an effective thesis statement. Let the thesis guide you throughout your writing.
Develop a plan or an outline listing main points, topic and sentence outline and include a graphic organizer. You should now be prepared to write the first draft.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Four
Drafting
When writing your first draft, you should once again reconsider your audience and purpose. Then focus on your subject.
In writing there is an opening, middle and ending. The opening is the most important element in your writing. It is here where you engage your reader, establish your direction and get to the point. The middle is where you advance your thesis, test your ideas, and support your main points. The middle is also where you build a coherent structure and use different levels of detail. The ending is a place to reassert the main point and urge the reader by gaining their acceptance and look ahead.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Five
Revising
When revising, look at the big picture. Take it all in. Revisit your audience, purpose and subject matter. Ask yourself ways you can improve and make your first draft become more complete. Make sure all of your ideas and organization is fully developed. Listen for voice and style, readers relate better to reading that is less informal. Look at your paragraphs for focus, unity and coherence. Request feedback from others and ask that they provide appropriate feedback.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Six
Editing and Proofreading
When editing and proofreading, use a checklist as a guide. Make sure your sentences are clear, complete, and correct. Check and make sure they flow smoothly and have varied lengths.
Another key element in writing is word choice. The writing should be free of vague words. Check your word choices. Instead of using vague words, replace the vague nouns and verbs with words that generate clarity energy and excitement.
Proofread your writing. Check for spelling errors, punctuation, and usage and grammar errors. Make sure that research documentation is punctuated correctly and check the writing for form and presentation.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Seven
Submitting Writing and Creating Portfolios
A good page design will make it easier for the reader to follow your reading and will make it much more pleasant. Use an easy to read font and size. Indent your paragraphs and maintain a one-inch margin around each page and double-space throughout the paper. Creating bullets, charts and other graphics should also be considered.
Once you have submitted your writing, you should be ready to share with an audience. Create a portfolio for sharing with other audiences. There are two basic methods for submitting your work.
· Paper Submission: Print an error-free copy on quality paper.
· Electronic Submission: Send your writing as an e-mail attachment.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Summaries Chapter One-Eight
September 29, 2007
Chapter Eight
One Writer’s Process
This chapter shows how one student followed the writing process outlined in Chapters two through eight. She began her writing process from beginning to the finished polished essay.
Angela’s, the student, started showing how she examined the assignment, explored and narrowed her assignment. In planning she reassessed her topic. She focused on her topic, researched and decided how to organize her writing. After composing her first draft, she added a title. During her first revision, she wrote notes to herself to keep her thoughts together. She asked a peer to review her second draft. Her edited draft was read aloud to check for clarity and smoothness. She then reviewed it checking for spelling, punctuation and agreement issues. This was her proofreading, which later ended in her formatting and submitting her finished essay.
Assignments
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
Chapter 3 – Planning
1. Author Ken Macrorie claims that “Good writing is formed partly through plan and partly through accident.” Do you agree? Why or why not? Relate Macrorie’s idea to your own writing experiences. How carefully do you plan? How much do you leave to accident?
Author Ken Macrorie claims that “Good writing is formed partly
Through plan and partly through accident.” I agree with this statement because you can sometimes plan too much and put a lot of unnecessary information that might overwhelm the reader. Good writing requires understanding your subject, and just allowing yourself to be creative with your own thoughts and ideas.
Once you began, you will accidentally stumble across putting words together that will flow from the heart. Depending on the subject matter dictates whether or not I plan or not. I prefer not to, however, there are times when I am left with no choice and have to. I leave most of my writing to accident. The nature of my past writings has been for personal satisfaction and didn’t require much planning. I know my future writings will require planning and I eagerly await the challenge.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
Chapter 4 Drafting
3. Imagine that you are a journalist asked to write an article about a wedding, a funeral, or another significant event you have experienced. Choose one and sketch out a plan for your article, including the main writing moves you would use. More specifically, explain what type of information you would include at each stage of your writing.
The title of my paper would be “The Big Game”
Opening
I would begin by asking questions of who enjoys sports, what is your favorite sporting event and how often do you get a chance to go and experience the excitement at a professional game watching your favorite team play.
Middle
My middle would include my excitement at first hearing I would be attending my favorite sporting event. I would include what led up to the day of the event, such as shopping for team colors, tailgate party and also who attended the “Big Game with me.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
Chapter 4 Drafting page two
Closing
My closing would include the outcome of the game; my thrill at becoming victorious in the end. I would also relay my feelings of satisfaction of the overall outcome. My final analysis as to whether or not the ticket prices were really worth it.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
Chapter 5 The Writing Process
Revising Review the opening and closing paragraphs of one of your essays. Then come up with fresh and different approaches for those paragraphs using the information on pages 67-68 as a guide.
Old opening paragraph
Many of us have heard the phrase, “A picture is worth a thousand words”. Even the simplest picture can sometimes send out a powerful message. The picture I chose to write about was taken from a book written by Anna Deavere Smith entitled Twilight Los Angeles, 1992. The book shared small stories of people and their experiences, written in their own words, after what some people called one of the worst riots in the history of Los Angeles. America witnessed a video of four white police officers brutally beating a black man on national television. The officers were tried and found not guilty, the city exploded with three days of burning, looting and killing. The riot scarred Los Angeles and got the attention of the entire world.
Chapter 5 page two
New opening paragraph
Can you judge a book by its cover? How important is it for you to have illustrations when reading a book? Can you sometimes tell what’s going through a person’s mind just by looking into his eyes? Can you look at a picture and understand what’s happening without reading any background material? A picture taken from the book “Twilight”, by Anna Deavere Smith, can easily be seen as a simple meaningless picture; however, it can have a powerful message hidden within.
Old closing paragraph
The huge gash on his forehead stretching from the top of his hairline down to the right side of his eyebrow indicates he was wounded during the riot. Are there other wounds that are not visible? Are they buried deep inside? Has he given up or is he looking at a new way to begin? Once again, his eyes shows there are many untold stories. What was the real reason for the riots? Were people just fed up? Will people such as the man in the picture ever have a chance at the American Dream or will he just continue and witness injustices simply because of the color of his skin. The man’s eyes in the picture are no different than any of ours, they function the same, therefore he should be viewed the same and treated as such.
Chapter 5 page three
Closing paragraph
The gash on the forehead of the man in the picture, not only shows pain and injuries incurred during the riot, but it can also symbolic of the pain of everyday life of this man in today’s society. We live in a society that sends many negative images to the world of people of color. No one other than the man knows of what’s really going on inside. Will he ever have a chance at the American Dream or will he just continue living day by day simply just getting by.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
CHAPTER 6 EDITING AND PROOFREADING
Combine some of the following ideas into longer, more mature sentences. Write at least four sentences, using page 85 as a guide.
1. Dogs can be difficult to train; training includes having patience which is also a necessity.
(Repeating a key word or phrase to emphasize an idea.)
2. Dogs like to please their owners; a well-trained dog is a pleasure to its owner and to others.
(Use a semicolon (and a conjunctive adverb if appropriate).
3. Contrary to what many people believe, dogs can be difficult to train.
(Use an introductory phrase or clause.)
4. Dogs can be difficult to train, but also like to please their owners.
(Use correlative conjunctions (either, or; not only, but also) to compare or contrast two ideas in a sentence.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
Chapter 7 The Writing Process
Choose one of your recent writing assignments and us the instructions on page 100 to assess the quality of your formatting and page design. Edit and redesign the paper as needed. In this assignment I took my writing, changed the font, text size and indented my paragraphs making it visually pleasing to the eye
If Eyes Could Talk
Many of us have heard the phrase, “A picture is worth a thousand words”. Even the simplest picture can sometimes send out a powerful message. The picture I chose to write about was taken from a book written by Anna Deavere Smith entitled Twilight Los Angeles, 1992. The book shared small stories of people and their experiences, written in their own words, after what some people called one of the worst riots in the history of Los Angeles. America witnessed a video of four white police officers brutally beating a black man on national television. The officers were tried and found not guilty, the city exploded with three days of burning, looting and killing. The riot scarred Los Angeles and got the attention of the entire world.
Chapter 7 page two
One of the pictures in the book can easily be viewed as a simple
meaningless picture. It is of a Hispanic middle aged man lying down with a
pillow neatly placed behind his head. The black and white illustration shows only the pillow, the solemn face of the man, and his upper chest area with a sheet nicely draped across the middle of his chest. The flowers that border the pillow and the relaxed serene expression across his face indicate it is a possibility he might be home in his familiar bed. I can also visualize his wife, kids, brothers, sisters and a host of loving family members at his bedside eagerly awaiting the right moment to bring out the Mariachi Band.
The thing that intrigues me most about this picture is the man’s eyes. His exhausted, weary eyes appear to be in deep thought, possibly thinking of the love of his family and relief that everyone has survived this tragic event. Or, are they portraying he has finally accepted the harshness of all that has happened and just lay there disgusted?
The huge gash on his forehead stretching from the top of his hairline down to the right side of his eyebrow indicates he was wounded during the riot. Are there other wounds that are not visible? Are they buried deep inside? Has he given up or is he looking at a new way to begin? Once again, his eyes shows there are many untold stories. What was the real reason for the riots? Were people just fed up? Will people such as the man in the picture ever have a chance at the American Dream or will he just continue and witness injustices simply because of the color of his skin. The man’s eyes in the picture are no different than any of ours, they function the same, therefore he should be viewed the same and treated as such.Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
Chapter 8 One Writers Process
1. Review Angela’s writing process. How does it compare with your own writing process on a recent assignment.
One of the differences in my essays versus Angela’s essay is that she kept a working bibliography. I could have easily included one in my writing since my picture was taken from another source. Angela researches her topic whereas my information was taken from one source and my personal memories. When doing her second revision, she asked the help from her peer. I read mine over and over to my husband who helped me in choosing certain words and with to overall sound to my essay. It might have been better if he had used a pen and wrote his thoughts on paper. I did edit and proofread my material before presenting it to the instructor. I think in the future I will print and make my revisions on paper rather than using the computer, because it allows me to look over my paper and see my changes from beginning to end.
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
Chapter 3 – Planning
1. Author Ken Macrorie claims that “Good writing is formed partly through plan and partly through accident.” Do you agree? Why or why not? Relate Macrorie’s idea to your own writing experiences. How carefully do you plan? How much do you leave to accident?
Author Ken Macrorie claims that “Good writing is formed partly
Through plan and partly through accident.” I agree with this statement because you can sometimes plan too much and put a lot of unnecessary information that might overwhelm the reader. Good writing requires understanding your subject, and just allowing yourself to be creative with your own thoughts and ideas.
Once you began, you will accidentally stumble across putting words together that will flow from the heart. Depending on the subject matter dictates whether or not I plan or not. I prefer not to, however, there are times when I am left with no choice and have to. I leave most of my writing to accident. The nature of my past writings has been for personal satisfaction and didn’t require much planning. I know my future writings will require planning and I eagerly await the challenge.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
Chapter 4 Drafting
3. Imagine that you are a journalist asked to write an article about a wedding, a funeral, or another significant event you have experienced. Choose one and sketch out a plan for your article, including the main writing moves you would use. More specifically, explain what type of information you would include at each stage of your writing.
The title of my paper would be “The Big Game”
Opening
I would begin by asking questions of who enjoys sports, what is your favorite sporting event and how often do you get a chance to go and experience the excitement at a professional game watching your favorite team play.
Middle
My middle would include my excitement at first hearing I would be attending my favorite sporting event. I would include what led up to the day of the event, such as shopping for team colors, tailgate party and also who attended the “Big Game with me.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
Chapter 4 Drafting page two
Closing
My closing would include the outcome of the game; my thrill at becoming victorious in the end. I would also relay my feelings of satisfaction of the overall outcome. My final analysis as to whether or not the ticket prices were really worth it.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
Chapter 5 The Writing Process
Revising Review the opening and closing paragraphs of one of your essays. Then come up with fresh and different approaches for those paragraphs using the information on pages 67-68 as a guide.
Old opening paragraph
Many of us have heard the phrase, “A picture is worth a thousand words”. Even the simplest picture can sometimes send out a powerful message. The picture I chose to write about was taken from a book written by Anna Deavere Smith entitled Twilight Los Angeles, 1992. The book shared small stories of people and their experiences, written in their own words, after what some people called one of the worst riots in the history of Los Angeles. America witnessed a video of four white police officers brutally beating a black man on national television. The officers were tried and found not guilty, the city exploded with three days of burning, looting and killing. The riot scarred Los Angeles and got the attention of the entire world.
Chapter 5 page two
New opening paragraph
Can you judge a book by its cover? How important is it for you to have illustrations when reading a book? Can you sometimes tell what’s going through a person’s mind just by looking into his eyes? Can you look at a picture and understand what’s happening without reading any background material? A picture taken from the book “Twilight”, by Anna Deavere Smith, can easily be seen as a simple meaningless picture; however, it can have a powerful message hidden within.
Old closing paragraph
The huge gash on his forehead stretching from the top of his hairline down to the right side of his eyebrow indicates he was wounded during the riot. Are there other wounds that are not visible? Are they buried deep inside? Has he given up or is he looking at a new way to begin? Once again, his eyes shows there are many untold stories. What was the real reason for the riots? Were people just fed up? Will people such as the man in the picture ever have a chance at the American Dream or will he just continue and witness injustices simply because of the color of his skin. The man’s eyes in the picture are no different than any of ours, they function the same, therefore he should be viewed the same and treated as such.
Chapter 5 page three
Closing paragraph
The gash on the forehead of the man in the picture, not only shows pain and injuries incurred during the riot, but it can also symbolic of the pain of everyday life of this man in today’s society. We live in a society that sends many negative images to the world of people of color. No one other than the man knows of what’s really going on inside. Will he ever have a chance at the American Dream or will he just continue living day by day simply just getting by.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
CHAPTER 6 EDITING AND PROOFREADING
Combine some of the following ideas into longer, more mature sentences. Write at least four sentences, using page 85 as a guide.
1. Dogs can be difficult to train; training includes having patience which is also a necessity.
(Repeating a key word or phrase to emphasize an idea.)
2. Dogs like to please their owners; a well-trained dog is a pleasure to its owner and to others.
(Use a semicolon (and a conjunctive adverb if appropriate).
3. Contrary to what many people believe, dogs can be difficult to train.
(Use an introductory phrase or clause.)
4. Dogs can be difficult to train, but also like to please their owners.
(Use correlative conjunctions (either, or; not only, but also) to compare or contrast two ideas in a sentence.
Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
Chapter 7 The Writing Process
Choose one of your recent writing assignments and us the instructions on page 100 to assess the quality of your formatting and page design. Edit and redesign the paper as needed. In this assignment I took my writing, changed the font, text size and indented my paragraphs making it visually pleasing to the eye
If Eyes Could Talk
Many of us have heard the phrase, “A picture is worth a thousand words”. Even the simplest picture can sometimes send out a powerful message. The picture I chose to write about was taken from a book written by Anna Deavere Smith entitled Twilight Los Angeles, 1992. The book shared small stories of people and their experiences, written in their own words, after what some people called one of the worst riots in the history of Los Angeles. America witnessed a video of four white police officers brutally beating a black man on national television. The officers were tried and found not guilty, the city exploded with three days of burning, looting and killing. The riot scarred Los Angeles and got the attention of the entire world.
Chapter 7 page two
One of the pictures in the book can easily be viewed as a simple
meaningless picture. It is of a Hispanic middle aged man lying down with a
pillow neatly placed behind his head. The black and white illustration shows only the pillow, the solemn face of the man, and his upper chest area with a sheet nicely draped across the middle of his chest. The flowers that border the pillow and the relaxed serene expression across his face indicate it is a possibility he might be home in his familiar bed. I can also visualize his wife, kids, brothers, sisters and a host of loving family members at his bedside eagerly awaiting the right moment to bring out the Mariachi Band.
The thing that intrigues me most about this picture is the man’s eyes. His exhausted, weary eyes appear to be in deep thought, possibly thinking of the love of his family and relief that everyone has survived this tragic event. Or, are they portraying he has finally accepted the harshness of all that has happened and just lay there disgusted?
The huge gash on his forehead stretching from the top of his hairline down to the right side of his eyebrow indicates he was wounded during the riot. Are there other wounds that are not visible? Are they buried deep inside? Has he given up or is he looking at a new way to begin? Once again, his eyes shows there are many untold stories. What was the real reason for the riots? Were people just fed up? Will people such as the man in the picture ever have a chance at the American Dream or will he just continue and witness injustices simply because of the color of his skin. The man’s eyes in the picture are no different than any of ours, they function the same, therefore he should be viewed the same and treated as such.Patricia Allen
Dr. Sylvia Shoemaker
English 82A
Writing Activities
September 29, 2007
Chapter 8 One Writers Process
1. Review Angela’s writing process. How does it compare with your own writing process on a recent assignment.
One of the differences in my essays versus Angela’s essay is that she kept a working bibliography. I could have easily included one in my writing since my picture was taken from another source. Angela researches her topic whereas my information was taken from one source and my personal memories. When doing her second revision, she asked the help from her peer. I read mine over and over to my husband who helped me in choosing certain words and with to overall sound to my essay. It might have been better if he had used a pen and wrote his thoughts on paper. I did edit and proofread my material before presenting it to the instructor. I think in the future I will print and make my revisions on paper rather than using the computer, because it allows me to look over my paper and see my changes from beginning to end.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Chapter Two Assignment
Chapter Two Assignment
Chapter Two Writing Activities
1. Reread one of your recent essays. How does the writing show that you thoroughly understood your subject, met the needs of your audience, and achieved your writing purpose?
Chapter Two Writing Activities
1. Reread one of your recent essays. How does the writing show that you thoroughly understood your subject, met the needs of your audience, and achieved your writing purpose?
My latest essay is entitled “If Eyes Could Talk”. Being aware that my readers consist of various people from many different cultures, I presented 1992 historical data so my text would be easily understood. The writing provoked thought amongst the readers. It brings awareness to events that occur within the borders of our own country that is of major concern versus our active involvement in global matters. My writing purpose was to bring consciousness to important events and show how they affect everyday people. As one visualize the eyes of the man in the picture, the reader empathizes and questions the true meaning of what America stands for, freedom and justice for all.
English Assignment Chapter One
Patricia Allen
Eng82A
Writing Activity Chapter 1 - #3 Develop a written analysis and evaluation of the image
If Eyes Could Talk
Many of us have heard the phrase, “A picture is worth a thousand words”. Even the simplest picture can sometimes send out a powerful message. The picture I chose to write about was taken from a book written by Anna Deavere Smith entitled Twilight Los Angeles, 1992. The book shared small stories of people and their experiences, written in their own words, after what some people called one of the worst riots in the history of Los Angeles. America witnessed a video of four white police officers brutally beating a black man on national television. The officers were tried and found not guilty, the city exploded with three days of burning, looting and killing. The riot scarred Los Angeles and got the attention of the entire world.
Eng82A
Writing Activity Chapter 1 - #3 Develop a written analysis and evaluation of the image
If Eyes Could Talk
Many of us have heard the phrase, “A picture is worth a thousand words”. Even the simplest picture can sometimes send out a powerful message. The picture I chose to write about was taken from a book written by Anna Deavere Smith entitled Twilight Los Angeles, 1992. The book shared small stories of people and their experiences, written in their own words, after what some people called one of the worst riots in the history of Los Angeles. America witnessed a video of four white police officers brutally beating a black man on national television. The officers were tried and found not guilty, the city exploded with three days of burning, looting and killing. The riot scarred Los Angeles and got the attention of the entire world.
One of the pictures in the book can easily be viewed as a simple meaningless picture. It is of a Hispanic middle aged man lying down with a pillow neatly placed behind his head. The black and white illustration shows only the pillow, the solemn face of the man, and his upper chest area with a sheet nicely draped across the middle of his chest. The flowers that border the pillow and the relaxed serene expression across his face indicate it is a possibility he might be home in his familiar bed. I can also visualize his wife, kids, brothers, sisters and a host of loving family members at his bedside eagerly awaiting the right moment to bring out the Mariachi Band.
The thing that intrigues me most about this picture is the man’s eyes. His exhausted, weary eyes appear to be in deep thought, possibly thinking of the love of his family and relief that everyone has survived this tragic event. Or, are they portraying he has finally accepted the harshness of all that has happened and just lay there disgusted?
The huge gash on his forehead stretching from the top of his hairline down to the right side of his eyebrow indicates he was wounded during the riot. Are there other wounds that are not visible? Are they buried deep inside? Has he given up or is he looking at a new way to begin? Once again, his eyes shows there are many untold stories. What was the real reason for the riots? Were people just fed up? Will people such as the man in the picture ever have a chance at the American Dream or will he just continue and witness injustices simply because of the color of his skin. The man’s eyes in the picture are no different than any of ours, they function the same, therefore he should be viewed the same and treated as such.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Journal Entries
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Keeping My Cool!
My morning started off on a bad note. I went to the office and asked for a cup so that I can have my usual cup of morning tea. I was told they were only given out to staff because the students here at Lincoln had a tendency of leaving cups all over the counter and often did not clean up after themselves. I sort of lost my cool and told the personnel that was a "Very Weak" excuse. Afterall, we are all adults and should know how to clean up after ourselves. I let that situation get the best of me, and I even vented my frustrations to a few fellow students.By the end of the day, I realized there might be a slim posibility of truth to the explaination that was given to me earlier in the day. I decided to do as I have always done and pack a cup in my backpack so I can remain my cool throughout the day. Later during the day I went to the restroom and found there were no seat covers. I considered going to the same desk and inquire as to whether or not we would have to start bringing our own. Instead, I intentionally left my lunch trash on the counter, which I know was a childish thing to do, but boy did that feel good.
Posted by Patricia Allen at 6:28 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
September 12, 2007
Yesterday was Michael's birthday, however, because of the tragic event that occured six years ago, he changed his birthday to September 12. I sang to him yesterday, I must now call him back and let him suffer at the sounds of my voice once more. Also, I was very thrilled to come home and find the ultrasound books I ordered came in, and much to my surprise I received both Volume One and Two. I purchased them used for $40, saving over $225, and best of all they were both in outstanding condition.
Posted by Patricia Allen at 7:02 PM 0 comments
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▼ 2007 (2)
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Keeping My Cool!
September 12, 2007
About Me
Patricia Allen View my complete profile
Keeping My Cool!
My morning started off on a bad note. I went to the office and asked for a cup so that I can have my usual cup of morning tea. I was told they were only given out to staff because the students here at Lincoln had a tendency of leaving cups all over the counter and often did not clean up after themselves. I sort of lost my cool and told the personnel that was a "Very Weak" excuse. Afterall, we are all adults and should know how to clean up after ourselves. I let that situation get the best of me, and I even vented my frustrations to a few fellow students.By the end of the day, I realized there might be a slim posibility of truth to the explaination that was given to me earlier in the day. I decided to do as I have always done and pack a cup in my backpack so I can remain my cool throughout the day. Later during the day I went to the restroom and found there were no seat covers. I considered going to the same desk and inquire as to whether or not we would have to start bringing our own. Instead, I intentionally left my lunch trash on the counter, which I know was a childish thing to do, but boy did that feel good.
Posted by Patricia Allen at 6:28 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
September 12, 2007
Yesterday was Michael's birthday, however, because of the tragic event that occured six years ago, he changed his birthday to September 12. I sang to him yesterday, I must now call him back and let him suffer at the sounds of my voice once more. Also, I was very thrilled to come home and find the ultrasound books I ordered came in, and much to my surprise I received both Volume One and Two. I purchased them used for $40, saving over $225, and best of all they were both in outstanding condition.
Posted by Patricia Allen at 7:02 PM 0 comments
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)
Blog Archive
▼ 2007 (2)
▼ September (2)
Keeping My Cool!
September 12, 2007
About Me
Patricia Allen View my complete profile
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
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